In a dreamy state of mind but Im not high

Tommorrow is gonna be tough
I dont know what Ill do
Its hard to think,to remember,to see
I dont know whats happening to me.

Why is my mind betraying me?
Why is my heart so weak?
Why is there no passion,no emotion,no hope?

Secret messages hidden in the skies
Do i have a future?
Am i going down like the rest?
Am i ever gonna do anything right?Or wrong?

I am selfish
I know i am
I keep trying to change it
But i dont know why I cant

Why am i always looking over my shoulder?
Why is my head filled with shit?
Distorted thoughts,Unclear motives,
Im in big trouble.

Is there something called fate?
Am i supposed to wait?
Or is everything in my life going to be about regrets?

What am I?
Its a stupid question
to which i have nothing but stupid answers!

Time is running out
I see it move on but im still standing
Like a child lost in a crowd
I dont know where to go.

Have i lost my faith?
Do i have any friends?
Am i a good friend?
What is a good friend?

Am i supposed to have fun?
Or should i work my head off?
Is playing it safe a sign of weakness?
Is it a sign of stupidity?

Song on the radio is "no one knows"
I wish someone did!
I wish they told me.

Is my self esteem at an all time low?
I guess so.
Or maybe its been like that for a long time now.
I guess "no one knows".

Am i going crazy?
Or was i born that way?
Did i do this to myself?
Can i be cured?

I am weak.
I am a loser.
Never did anything worthwhile.
Never fell in love
Never shared it with anyone.
Never felt anything except pain,shame, remorse.

Regrets are all i have.
I dont know if i will ever be happy.
Megalomaniac or plain paranoid.
I dont know.

Im not good at anything,
Im not good looking
Im not helpful or cheerful
Im a pain to be around.

Dont listen to me speak
Coz i got no good jokes for u
Dont listen to me sing
Coz i have no song that will touch ur heart.

Dont read anything I have written
coz i have no words of wisdom
Dont trust me with anything
Coz i will let u down.

I hate myself more than u hate me.